For reasons unknown, only the Maternal Human is here with me. I recognize her to be easily distracted by my cuteness and prone to lavishing bananas and excessive hugs upon me, which still scare me a bit, although she smells like honey and has eyes green as the lettuce I like. Am I admitting I feel a certain -fondness- for this creature? Perhaps. Even the missing boy who thinks he "owns" me has some good qualities - his questioning blueberry -type eyes are amusing to watch. The other boy -triangular chinned, with goldeny dark eyes and a penchant for the word "random" - I am wary of, as he has a crafty mind with a clear aptitude for trap-setting. He truly is a force to be reckoned with, the master of my downfall into this imprisonment I remain in.
I will look pitifully at the Maternal Human this evening. I will by subliminal mind control convince her to let me run around on the floor. Yet first, she will find herself feeding me Honey Nut Cheerios. I will "accidentally" bite her, which will cause her to cry and hold her hand, and in that moment,I will be GONE, gone to visit Rosalie who waits for me by the heart-shaped gas pipe. Wish me well, friends....
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Oh, Herbie, please don't bite innocent humans just to see me (unless, of course, it's the human that you told me sings to you). Until then, I will post comments on your blog for you to read.
ReplyDeleteRosalie - if you can find a way to read this please come find my cage. I believe that if you bring the other mice that may be living in the wall together we can gnaw throughthis cage. Don't you wish to see me? It is true I have eaten many blueberries lately and my left eye keeps winking for no reason, but my darling - I need to be free to raise our family together. Or - is there another mouse for you that maybe you see as more your type? Together we can begin a master race of wild mouse-hamsters "moumsters"or "hamouses"- my point is, separately we are only a lonely hamster and a moth-eating mouse, but together, with guidance from the NStar Water Heater, we can have Adventure and Blueberries. Please respect my need to bite the humans, especially the trap-setting one!
ReplyDeletehow did rosalie learn to read and write
ReplyDeleteDear Unpunctuating Human,
ReplyDeleteI taught her, as I learned from the NSTAR MANUAL.
I willnot hold it against you that you missed this Imortant Detail of my blog.