My Daring Escape

I am an ordinary hamster, perhaps a little more handsome than most, with my silken apricot fur that I groom often, and shiny black eyes that I have been told, "show great intelligence."

Ordinary in the sense that I am forced to live as most domestic hamsters do, in a routine wire cage with a mundane wheel for the endless nightly spins, the humdrum chow in a dish, lacking all savor - a basic hamster life. And this was all I had in this world to think about, until Thursday night, the night of my Unprecented Escape and The Journey of My Life.

My owner, a well-meaning and kind ten-year old boy (although he persists in singing to me and thinks I enjoy it - dear Lord - the patience I must have not to bite the very thumb off him!) accidentally left a circular piece meant to block an opening at the ceiling of my cage - I was careful not to let him see that I had observed this - how carefully I feigned ignorance, chewing my piece of hydroponic lettuce as if I actually liked it -ha! ha! Humans are so gullible!

Once I detected sleeping time silence, I put the strength I have acquired from nightly push-ups, wheel running, and intense frustration with humans to the test - hoisting myself up and out of the cage - freedom! The cage sat atop a desk four feet off the ground, but I was pumped now - undeterred, I took a deep breath, filling my cheek sacs to maximum inflation. With the bass electric chords of "Born To Be Wild" thrumming through my brain, I leapt, nay, flew, gliding down to the carpet with ease, my full cheeks acting almost as wings, transporting me effortlessly. I was off and running - to the dark, to the dark my mind seemed to dictate where I should go, guiding my to the warm, close tunnels of the home heating system.

It was awesome inside the wall, so many pipes to climb, and smells my nose had never detected before. I was surprised to note I was not alone - I witnessed several creatures crawling along conduits to unknown places within my vicinity. Then, on a pipe above me - I saw ...her. Pink nose twitching, warm brown eyes aglow, a curiously slender and tailed female of a different type than I had ever seen surveyed me with intrigue evident in her lustrous,mobile whiskers. I am a gentleman, and will not reveal the details, but suffice it to say, we shared common interests and a passion that many do not experience in a lifetime. Two minutes may not seem like a long romance, but I assure you, my Rosalie will stay in my heart forever. Our children will hopefully bear my good looks and her sensitivity to feelings.

After this life changing experience,I found myself in a savage duel with a grizzled one-toothed rodent who was something akin to a pirate of his species; I managed to escape with a well-timed leap, using my cheek-sac gliding method once again. Hungry, I ate a winged thing that may have been a moth - I will never know for sure.

I found an "Nstar Water Heater Manual" and taught myself to read and write, and shared this information with an eager group of young mouselets. They referred to me as "Noble King" and shared bits of Pepperidge Farm goldfish, a rare delicacy, and more of the winged creatures I did not find so savory.

I surveyed the pipe system of the house until I began to grow weary, and found a way out.I blinked in surprise. I was in the living room where the humans spent time staring often at a brightly lit box of some sort. I noted the alluring scent of peanut butter emitting from a bucket. A helpful stairs of blocks guided me to the food source.

I fell in, trapped by the slippery walls, and tucked in to make the most of my imprisonment by eatingthe cracker with peanut butter left there. I had been duped, foiled, tricked, by my owner, who located me in this trap he had set- how I underestimated him!